Thursday, November 12, 2009

Ladies Love Unavailable Men

It seems she’s everywhere. That Girl. She may be eyeing you from across a crowded dance floor while she grinds seductively against her girl friend. She could be your “platonic” friend who seems to be in a perpetual state of crisis, calling for comfort in the wee hours of the morning a little too frequently. Maybe she’s the receptionist at your office or an online friend who wants to be more. There’s just one problem - you already have a girlfriend.

That Girl is the one with designs on stealing you away from your committed relationship and if you aren’t careful, her very presence could cause your happy twosome to come apart at the seams. Sure, you ca think of plenty of ideas to excuse her behavior: she’s just drunk, she’s only a friend, she looks up to me. Despite your justifications, this girl may be hatching schemes to get between you and your partner. If you want to keep your happy home trouble free, it’s helpful to be aware of some of the motivations these girls might have so you can avoid falling into an inappropriate situation.

  • Low Self-esteem

In most cases, the reason these girls go for someone who is already attached is that they have a very low opinion of themselves. Outwardly, she may be acting like she’s God’s gift to everyone else’s boyfriend, but inside she’s just too scared to approach an available guy for fear of getting shot down. If she can’t get in your pants, at least she can blame it on your girl’s presence and not her own qualities (or lack thereof).

  • Idle Time

Some of these girls are simply bored and going to a club to hit on other people’s dates is just part of the fun of a Saturday night. This motivation is usually fairly harmless and rarely carries on longer than the night in question. However, if you start responding to her come-ons, you could have a fight to take home with you. Steer clear of the slutty drunk chick that seems oblivious to the fact that you’re paired up.

  • She Loves Drama

This is a similar motivation to boredom, but more far-reaching. The girls addicted to drama are going to take time to build a foundation of trust with you. This is usually centered on turning to you with some kind of emotional crisis. The most effective way to cement this “support system” is to confide to you the terrible breakup she’s going through with an allegedly abusive guy. If you have even one sensitive bone in your body, you’re going to find it difficult to turn away from a heartbroken girl who has been treated like garbage by a scum bag guy. For the sake of your relationship, take it easy on the all night cry fests. It’s good to be a friend, but your girlfriend is the one that deserves the majority of your emotional support.

  • Father Figure Issues

They say girls seek out mates that are like their fathers. If her father habitually cheated on her mother, or left the family for another woman, she could be repeating this relationship pattern, consciously or unconsciously. Trying to get a guy to stray from his commitment just proves a self-fulfilling prophecy for her. She believes all men will cheat, so she might as well help.

  • Real Feelings

This is less likely to happen in real life than romantic comedies would have you believe. People rarely fall totally in love with someone else’s mate unless the mate is willing to stray. If what she has is a passing crush or a case of puppy love, you don’t have to worry. The infatuation should fade if you make the boundaries clear. However, if her feelings run deeper, you’ll have a more difficult task on your hands. Let her down gently, but make sure she knows how in love with your girlfriend you are. She has to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she has no chance of breaking you two up.

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