Friday, November 20, 2009

How To Rekindle A Long Term Relationship

A happy, long term relationship is great and something we all want. However, even the best and happiest long term relationships can suffer from routine sex.

The sex might be good, but it is not what it used to be nor is it everything that it could be. While you might be content, what you really want is a way to spice things up and turn your good sex life into a fantastic sex life – and keep it that way.

Be Spontaneous

If you want it, do it. I don’t mean drop whatever you are doing and have sex wherever you happen to be when the urge strikes you – that might be inadvisable, particularly if you happen to be in public, or surrounded by children.

Instead, let sex sometimes take priority over other trivial things that you normally would want to get done first. If you can afford the time, be ten minutes late to work because you were having a morning quicky. If you are cleaning up, watching television, or paying bills stop what you are doing, put it out of your mind and give into your desires.

If it can wait – and most often it really can – then let it wait.

Try Something New

This applies to what you do in the bedroom as much as to time spent out of it. Outside of the bedroom try doing something that both of you have never done before. Go sky diving, rock climbing, try new food, take dance lessons, travel. Spending exciting quality time together serves to cement your bond and makes physical intimacy that much more fulfilling.

In the bedroom, spend some time talking candidly about your fantasies, old and new. Try your best not to judge each other so that you can both be as open as possible. At the same time don’t be afraid to say that you are uncomfortable with something, but express this in a non-judgmental way in terms of personal preference rather than a put down.

Don’t say: “Ewww what kind of weirdo would want that? I can’t believe I’ve been dating you for (fill in the blank)!” Try to say: “Interesting, but just not my thing.”

Once you have found something new you both want to try, explore it fully and enjoy!

Dress Up

Once you’ve found someone it’s easy to slack off in terms of your physical appearance. While it’s healthy to be able to be around someone with bad hair in crummy clothes, it’s equally important to take some time every now and again to try.
You might want to wear something sexy to bed, work on toning your body, or get dressed up for a night out on the town.

Compliment Each Other

Pretty much everyone likes to be told they are good-looking. Some are more modest than others but you would be hard pressed to find someone who truly dislikes being told that they are attractive.
Compliments help build self-esteem and a more confident lover will be more likely to try new and exciting things or throw themselves into what they are doing. Also, giving compliments helps both partners feel appreciated, needed and loved. Often, once you have been with someone for a while it is easy to forget to compliment them as often as you used to, the rationale being something along the lines of: “well I told them before and they know it”. It’s always pleasant to be reminded and to be reassured of the fact that your lover feels as attracted to you now as they did on day one.

Teasing & Foreplay

Don’t always get right to it. Sometimes, getting what you want right away can be tremendously satisfying. However, if you are always instantly satisfied, you might begin to take sex and your partner for granted. You will begin to feel entitled and sex will become just something you expect.
In order to prevent this from happening, or remedy it once it has, build up to the moment. Tease each other throughout the day. Express desire without immediately fulfilling it. Once you have each other alone, cuddle, kiss and make out for as long as you can before actually getting down to business.

Forget About the Bed

This pretty much means have sex anywhere but on your bed. Try the floor, a chair, the kitchen table, the shower, or if you are feeling particularly risqué, do it outside. I’ve heard some pretty bizarre locations mentioned, among them: the mall after hours, a tree in a field, on a building, a forest and a golf course at night. It’s not necessary to go quite so extreme; the main point is to explore intimacy in a location that you would not normally.

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