The Best Ways To Understand A Man

10. ALL BLACK SHOES LOOK THE SAME TO HIM:
Of course this may be somewhat of an exaggeration. But face it, Ladies... Men typically are not offered as many styles in the same color as women are. Therefore, that strappy black sling back, is exactly the same as the peep toe black sling back.

9. "HOW WAS YOUR DAY?" doesn't mean "How was your day?”:
As insensitive as it sounds, when men ask this question, they typically do not want a play-by-play of your entire day. Quite frankly, it's boring. And unless you have something specific you want to discuss with him, he really doesn't care about your coworker's son's Little League Game.

8. INITIATE SEX:
Yes, sometimes men want women to be a bit more aggressive in the bedroom, especially if they tend to make the first move most of the time. Men do enjoy a chase. But after being together for a while, they need to feel wanted as well. Initiate sex a bit more often, and you could see dramatic improvements in your sex life.

7. "NOTHING'S WRONG" means, nothing is wrong:

Sometimes that quiet, brooding type of man is simply having a quiet moment to himself. Women are the ones who ordinarily like to discuss and plan the details of almost everything. But men are more hands on. When they are quiet, it doesn't necessarily mean that something is wrong - only that they are thinking.

6. "I LOVE YOU" isn't always said with words:
Once women understand that men show love in a variety of ways, women will happier. Recognizing loving gestures will definitely help get the point across. Sometimes those three little words are being screamed loud and clear, with actions instead.

5. HE DOESN'T REALLY WANT TO KNOW ALL ABOUT YOUR PAST:
Sure, you've had honest dialogue about your previous racy adventures. But guess what? Men don't want to know everything you've done, and EVERYONE you've done it with. A little mystery helps keep some of the fire alive. And besides, there is nothing wrong with keeping some private things, private.



4. DON'T BE A DOORMAT:
Whoever coined the phrase that nice guys finish last, was actually onto something. While this doesn't mean that you should be rude or inconsiderate to your sweetie, it does mean that you should stand firm about things you believe in. Don't cave in to every whim for the sake of keeping your man around. In the end, it doesn't usually work anyway. Stand firm in your beliefs, and you'll maintain not only your integrity, but a healthy relationship.

3. HAVE A LIFE!:
Make sure that you've got something going on the side. No, not someone or something. Activities, friends, and hobbies are all important in keeping you sane. It's fine to do things together. But no one can stand to be around someone 24 hours a day without there being tension from time to time. The phrase "absence makes the heart grow fonder" has a huge ring of truth.

2. DON'T LET YOURSELF GO :
This doesn't mean bending your looks to satisfy the whims of your man. And it doesn't mean refusing to wear a particular style that he likes. Women should make sure that they feel as sexy as they did on the day they met their mates. A few pounds here and there may not make a difference to your beau. But if you've gained over 100 lbs, first ask yourself if You are happy with it. If not, then do something about it - For You. A happier You makes for a happier "us".

1. COMPLIMENT HIM :
Men like and need to feel attractive too. However, make sure that the compliments are genuine. If you like the way he looks in his favorite shirt, say so. Not only is it a boost to his confidence, but it lets him know that he's still attractive to you as well!

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Taking Your Lover Back

The Happy Times Vs the Sad Times

If you have to put thought into whether the happy times surpassed the sad times, the answer should be clear: Don't give him a second chance because he didn't make you happy. Giving him another chance will only cause you to revisit the past and encounter the same problems over again. If you had major problems then chances are they aren't likely to dissolve into thin air. All relationships have their ups and downs but emotional turmoil should not be an everyday occurrence.
If he doesn't understand why you get upset at him all the time, then it might be the right time to find someone who can communicate on the same level as you and understand why you react the way you do. However, if you've worked through problems successfully before and feel as though your relationship encompasses something special which is worth working out, give it another shot.




The Opinions of Friends

Did your family and friends approve of your ex-boyfriend who is trying to make his way back into your life? Your friends and family are the ones who know you best and support the fact that you should be treated in a way that keeps you happy. They are your personal support system and are always at your side when you need a shoulder to cry on, and they provide you with advice when you are confused or distraught.
If your friends and family don't approve of your ex-boyfriend who is trying to weasel himself back into your life then it might be a sign. How can you allow a man who isn't respected by the closest people in your life to claim such an important status in your life? Does he really deserve it, or did he manipulate you in order to obtain such a place in your heart? Clearly, figuring out whether or not he deserves a spot in your social circle should be thought through before you let him back into your life.

The Reasons Behind the Break Up

Take some time to reflect on a moment in the past when he broke your heart. Do you remember yourself crying on a friend's shoulder or drinking the night away with friends in order to forget about the way he hurt you or made you cry? Are you prepared to repeat such a process if his scheming ways strike again? Heartbreak can be encountered in any relationship. However, giving a guy another chance once he has already broken your heart can be an extremely regrettable judgment call. An important question to ask yourself is why you would want to be with him if he doesn't want to be with you. Unless you are able to communicate what went wrong previously and how you can make things better, conflict will be an inevitable and unavoidable matter.

Look at all Sides

Examining all these factors is important before determining whether or not he deserves a second chance. The answer might be quite clear even though you refuse to admit it to yourself. You might find yourself searching for reasons to let him crawl back into your life, but make sure you remember how you were treated previously and ask yourself if it is what you really want in a relationship. Figuring out whether or not there is a spot for him in your future is ultimately your own personal decision.

Happiness matters most

Sometimes women fall back into relationships because they are used to a certain routine of being with a man, or simply don't want to feel lonely. But revisiting a painful past while realizing you could be exploring new options will just cause an elevated level of emotional anxiety. Feeling happy with yours

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Signs That He Is 'NOT' The One

After enduring weeks of single girl sympathy, you finally agreed to let your cousin set you up with that "great guy" she knows. Since you said yes, you figure you might as well make the most of it and keep an open mind. But, just in case, you ask your best friend to call your cell about a half hour into the date so you can fake an emergency if needed.

Actually, it's not even faking. Bad dates are emergencies. However, lucky for you, there are warning signs that the person you are out with is, and always will be, a terrible date. If you are unlucky enough to experience any of them first hand, make sure to answer your friend's call saying, "Oh no! That's terrible! I'll be right over."

He's Late

This one is pretty basic. If a guy doesn't have enough enthusiasm for the date to actually show up on time, you shouldn't expect to be impressed by the rest of the night. Obviously, there are times when you just can't help it, but he'd better have a good reason if he shows up at your door even 15 minutes late.

He's Not Dressed to Impress

You've spent hours on your hair and a pile of rejected clothes covers your bed. You are finally dressed to the nines in the perfect outfit and ready for the evening. You open the door and are surprised to be greeted by your date in torn jeans and a stained t-shirt. You doubt he's washed his hair today (or yesterday). You expected a nice night out and he shows up looking like he's dressed for a monster truck rally.

He Takes you to a Monster Truck Rally

Original and unique first dates are a great way to stand out from the rest of the fish in the sea, but there are exceptions. He should at least do a little research into your style before he plans an unusual activity. Sure, he might really love hot dogs and monster trucks, but if you were thinking fine dining and theatre, there's bound to be trouble.
The fact that he didn't bother to ask your opinion beforehand (or at least get the matchmaker's thoughts on the plan) doesn't bode well for how he's going to respect your needs and wants in the future.



He Expects You to Pay

It's not absolutely necessary that he pick up the check. Along with all those useful freedoms like voting, the feminist movement also brought us the responsibility of at least offering to pay for half the date. Most guys still think it's chivalrous to pick up the tab for the first date and there's nothing wrong with indulging his male ego (after an appropriate amount of protesting of course).

No girl is expecting a man to drop a fortune on a first date, but a guy who expects you to pay for everything without lifting a finger to open his own wallet doesn't give off the impression that he cares much what you think of him. In fact, he probably won't see a second date (and maybe not even the end of the first one). A good rule of thumb for payment is: whoever asks for the date, pays for the date.

He Talks About his Ex

So maybe you escaped the monster truck rally, but instead of choking on exhaust fumes and standing in a sea of drunken mullets, you get to hear all about his wonderful or horrible ex-girlfriend. Bonus trouble points if he had a nasty breakup and insists on sharing the details with you. If he refers to his ex even once with a derogatory insult that you wouldn't call your worst enemy, run for the hills now. It's not a good sign if he can't say anything nice about the last woman with whom he had a significant relationship.

How Can I Put This.? He's a Weirdo.

Yes, it's time to weed out those with personal quirks that you find distasteful or generally unacceptable. This will be different for every woman of course (some chicks really dig witchcraft, guys that live with their moms or Dungeons and Dragons enthusiasts). Regardless, that tight knot that is forming in your stomach while you listen to his ideas, habits and activities, should not be ignored.

Awkward Moments vs. Awkward Hours

When he's not filling you in on his wacky life, the conversation stalls into silence or unintelligible grunting. It's normal to have a little awkwardness or difficulty getting conversation to flow in the beginning of a first date, but if after a few minutes, he still can't think of a single question to ask about your life or keep up with the conversation, it's time to call it a night.
If it's twenty minutes in and you've run out of things to talk about, you probably don't have much of a future together.

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How To Find Your Soulmate

Some believe that your destiny will bring you to your soul mate like a magnet pulls metal. Your life will create a series of experiences that will lead you almost innocently to that vital part that will make your life complete. Unfortunately, there is no formula for finding your soul mate. We can only prepare ourselves to recognize that special person when we meet him or her. The preparation is really the key to how soon you can find that person.

For this, one must prepare to give oneself away to others and develop a never ending steam of trust within yourself so that you can accept everyone you meet without judgments or fear. Some believe that if one looks deep inside the eyes of another person with complete acceptance and love, one can create new levels of intimacy and spiritual bonding. It is during this quest, where we treat every individual as a potential soul mate, that we will eventually find the one that we are looking for.

Some people confuse this discovery as an endeavor to look for the ultimate romantic partner. Finding your soul mate is a search for wholeness or completion. It may lead to a physical union but it is much beyond mere physical desire. You can feel attracted to many others, but there could only be one person who will fit in perfectly to complete the puzzle of your life.

If you can learn to love unconditionally, abandon yourself to your spiritual desires and accept wholeheartedly the people that God sends in our lives everyday, you will find your soul mate without any doubt.

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The Beginning Of a New Relationship

Courting

The "Courting Phase" does not refer to the courtship process which precedes a relationship. The courtship process is when you attempt to charm someone into forming a relationship with you. The courting phase, however, is the very beginning of a new relationship itself; just after a successful courtship. In the courting phase, both parties maintain that fascinating charm which they used to attract their partner in the first place. The courting phase is where most broken promises & exaggerate words are said as you are still trying to impress each other. Things like 'I've never felt this way about anyone else before' or 'I think we have something special between us' are said. Although these statements are made with good intentions, they are often inaccurate and are based mainly on feeling as oppose to logic. A couple in the courting phase also tend to be very "playful" with one another and prefer to spend every free moment together. Although not every relationship passes through this courting phase, it happens often enough. Just make sure you are beyond this point before you start taking any serious steps in the relationship.

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List Of Online Dating Tips

There’s a nervousness, thrill, and excitement that occurs when meeting a person for the first time face to face. Yet amongst the thrill, remember to always be on your guard when going out on a date with someone you barely know.
Here are 12 tips on dating safety to help you get started:

1. Arrange to meet him. Don’t let him pick you up from your home.
2. Meet in public places. If possible, double date or go out with a group of people.
3. Go Dutch by paying half of the bill. That way you won’t feel under any obligation to return the favor.
4. Remember that alcohol affects your judgment and lessens your inhibitions. If you are drinking, keep your drink in sight at all times and don’t get so drunk that you don’t know what you are doing.
5. Use your own mode of transportation. And leave with a full tank.
6. Don't assume that a man is safe just because he claims to be religious.
7. Don’t let him know where you live. If you want to see him again, arrange a second date and then take it from there.


8. Avoid secluded areas such as parks.
9. Listen to your gut. If something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. And if you haven’t met him before, and you know at the beginning of the date that something doesn’t feel right, then leave immediately.
10. Always let someone else know where you're going and who you'll be with. You might even consider arranging a time to call and check in. Or you could arrange to meet up with friends later that night.
11. Give him your cell phone number instead of your home phone number. 12. Always remain alert. Even if you’re having a blast and the chemistry is great, it’s a good idea to remain alert the whole evening. Make sure you have a cell phone on you. Dating safely is very important. In the initial stages of dating, you are still getting to know someone you know little about. By creating a safe environment to know the person, you’re creating a better situation for you.

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Marriage Can Cure Depression

With apologies to about thousands of stand up comedians, marriage may be the cure for depression, rather than the cause of it. In fact, researchers say, people who experience depression before they get married are the most likely to get emotional health benefits from marriage. Using a depression scale whose scores ranged from zero to 84, the researchers found that the scores of depressed people went down by almost 8 points after marriage, while those who weren't depressed had just under a 2-point drop after marriage. Even the study authors were surprised by their findings. "We thought people who were depressed would be less likely to benefit from marriage than others," said study co-author Kristi Williams, an assistant professor of sociology at Ohio State University in Columbus. "We thought depression would put a strain on the marriage." Williams and her co-author, Adrianne Frech, a doctoral student at Ohio State, presented the results of their study August. 13 at the annual meeting of the American Sociological Association, in Montreal. This research comes on the heels of another study that found that people who never marry had a greater chance of dying early than people who were married. In fact, people who'd never married had an even higher risk of early death than people who were divorced, separated or widowed, suggesting that marriage confers some sort of health benefit, even if it doesn't work out. Using data from the National Survey of Families and Households, the Ohio State researchers gathered information on more than 3,000 people who were single at the start of the study in 1987-88. The survey participants were interviewed again sometime between 1992 and 1994. To assess whether or not people were depressed, they were asked 12 questions, such as how many days in the past week they "felt like they could not shake off the blues, "felt lonely," or "slept restlessly."



About 29 percent were depressed at the start of the study, according to Williams. During the second part of the study, they gathered information on who had gotten married and reassessed depression. Williams said at that time, 30 percent of those who remained unmarried were depressed, while only 26 percent of those who got married were depressed. The researchers found that those who were depressed seemed to gain the most mental health benefits from getting married, with depressed people enjoying nearly a six-point higher reduction in their depression scores after marriage than non-depressed people. "We actually found the opposite of what we expected. We thought depressed people would be less likely to benefit from marriage because the depression of one spouse can put a strain on the marriage and undermine marital quality," Frech said in a prepared statement. As to why depressed people may enjoy more benefits from matrimony, Williams theorized, "We think that depressed people may have more to gain from the emotional support and close intimate ties that come with marriage." That doesn't mean people who aren't depressed won't have happy marriages, Williams quickly added: "If you start out happy, you don't have as far to go."
The findings don't mean that depressed people should substitute marriage for depression treatment either, she said. "This was just an average association," said Williams. "We're not saying that depressed individuals should run out and get married." "Clearly, one should not look upon these results as recommending that depressed people should get married," said Dr. Charles Goodstein, a clinical professor of psychiatry at the New York University School of Medicine in New York City. "The likelihood is strong that such a marriage might fall apart." But, he added, these study results suggest that depressed people stand to gain more from marriage. "At the very least, the depressed person gets the sense that there's someone who cares about them." However, Goodstein also pointed out that this particular survey may not accurately assess depression. "Depression is a much more complicated matter than can be diagnosed on a survey. There is such a wide range of what we call depression, and many people can pass through society without being seen as depressed," he said. Williams agreed that the survey used in this study can't be used to diagnose individual depression, but said it was designed to give an estimate of depression in a community population.

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